this day in bugg history

we’re moving to guam

What an exciting time for all concerned!

Transcript:

Mr Bugg stands at the prow of a large sailing ship, anchored about ten feet away from a small tropical island, which prompts the question, why is looking through a telescope? The answer: To better see Mrs Bugg, not overly dressed in a bra made of coconut halves and a micro-mini skirt made of the local vegetation, along with boots and bow, as per usual.

The text reads: “Buggarch 6, 1521: Ferdinand Buggellan arrives in Guam.”

later called bugganmar

Ah, yes, the nefarious “Bringing a flag” ploy!

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is waving the flag of the Buggtish empire, while Mrs Bugg, wearing a bra made of two halves of a coconut and a grass skirt, waves a spear and shield in dismay.

The text reads: “Buggarch 5, 1824: First Anglo-Bugmese war. The Buggtish officially declare ware on the Bugmese … they bring a flag.”

all the celebrity gossip and diet advice you can handle

Actually, I bet the Buggs can’t be having with dieting. I think they just eat everything in moderation and get plenty of exercise. And their idea of good celebrity gossip is about how well famous actors treat their tofubeasts, and all about their work with tofubeast rescue charities. Or something.

That’s the sort of world I want to live in.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are each holding a copy of a magazine. Their eyes are wide in glee as they read about the latest exploits of Buggelina and her huge gift to animal charities.

The text reads: “Buggarch 4, 1974: Bugg Magazine is first published.”

that IS how it’s scored, right?

Wait, what do you mean, it’s not?

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are high-fiving one another, although I’m not sure why. They are both in full-on buggkey kit — pads, sticks and skates — and both have black eyes, although only Mr Bugg appears to be missing teeth. Mrs Bugg is rocking some icky mouth stitches, which more or less makes up for retaining her teeth.

The text reads: “Buggarch 3, 1875: The first indoor game of Ice Buggkey is played. The buggs beat the other buggs 3 teeth to 0.”

they know it when they see it

I’d bet you any amount of money that men fought tooth and nail to be on the committee that reviewed things for their lasciviousness.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is holding a book in one hand, his other arm thrown up in what I am choosing to believe is astonishment, his eyes wide. Mrs Bugg, meanwhile, is walking away smiling, her postperson’s messenger bag over her shoulder, duty done.

The text reads: “Buggarch 3, 1873: Censorship in the UBA makes it illegal to send a book by post that is obscene, lewd or lascivious.”

buggronic hero

I make no bones about my love for Romantic-era poets and poetry, and ~~Byron~~ Buggron is one of my very favorites.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are both bewigged and wearing capes. Mr Bugg is presumably the Prime Minister, holding up his hand to recognize Mrs Bugg at the podium, today playing George Gorbugg, Lord Buggron. She is reading from a scroll and making an impassioned speech.

The text reads: “Febuggary 27, 1812: Lord Buggron gives his first address at the House of Buggs.”

just living there doesn’t count

Everyone knows you can’t get credit for discovering the place you already live in. Psh.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are at the prow of a sailing ship. Mrs Bugg is holding a spyglass to her eye and looking upon a wee island with two palm trees sprouting from it, while Mr Bugg is throwing up his arms in triumph.

The text reads: “Febuggary 27, 1700: The Island of New Buggland is discovered.”

bustiquela

True story: Loki and I will watch nearly any film or documentary about bands, up to and including Selena … because it was late and what the hell.

Anyway, Selena’s mom & dad arguing about whether or not it was a bra or a bustier was one of the best scenes in the movie, and clearly made an impression on the Buggs.

Transcript:

Mrs Bugg is shown on a large television screen … at least, we assume it’s Mrs Bugg, as the most prominent thing visible is a pointy, sparkly ~~bra~~ bustier. Mr Bugg, meanwhile, is throwing up his arms in shock.

The text reads: “Febuggary 26, 1995: Selena Bugg performs her last televised concert, wearing a BUGGSTIA.”

jazz band

Not to be confused with jazz hands.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg front a jazz trio: Mr Bugg is rocking a clarinet, while Mrs Bugg is on a stand-up bass. In the background, a tofubeast is on the drums, as per tradition.

The text reads: “Febuggary 26, 1917: The original Buggxieland Jazz Band records the first jazz record.”

in living color

That doesn’t look like A Visit to the Seaside to me …

Transcript:

A projector throws images onto a huge screen: Mr and Mrs Bugg are being shown, presumably in color, although this drawing is black and white, so who can tell. Anyway, they appear to be dressed as robots having an arm’s-length slap-fight, while scores of buggs in the audience watch, entranced.

The text reads: “Febuggary 26, 1909: “Buggencolor, the first color video process, is shown.”

revolver

I bet the Buggs just love this.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg has his back to us. He is wearing a large black cowboy hat, cowboy boots with spurs, and a gun belt hanging low. His hands are hovering over the guns. He is facing Mrs Bugg, dressed identically except for the bow atop her cowboy hat, and they are about to take shots at each other.

The text reads: “Febuggary 25, 1836: Buggual Colt is granted the patent for the revolver pistol. Buggs celebrate this every year with duels at noon.”

miracle on ice

It was crazy, how big a deal this was.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are dressed as hockeyists: Mr Bugg is the goalie, with scary mask, huge pads and a stick; Mrs Bugg is not wearing a mask (and is consequently missing several teeth), but she is super-stoked all the same, as evidenced by her leap into the air, to click her skate-heels together.

The text reads: “Febuggary 24, 1980: The USB Hockey Team wins gold at the Olympbugs.”

seriously wrong party

OK, for real, Buggs, I am going to have to insist that you click the links and read the whole article, or at least the summary, before you go doing stuff like this.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are in full party mode: party hats, noisemakers, coupes of champagne.

The text reads: “Febuggary 24, 1920: The Nazi party is founded … the buggs have no concept of fascism … so they just party.”

again with the calendar

Apparently it took them nearly 200 years to decide this calendar was the way to go?

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is wearing a pope hat and standing at the top of some stairs, his pope throne behind him. He is raising a large sceptre imperiously. At the bottom of the dais, Mrs Bugg looks at a calendar, a bemused expression on her face, and one hand pressed to her head, which is undoubtedly hurting from the weird.

The text reads: “Febuggary 24, 1582: Pope Buggory XIII announces the Buggarian calendar.”

zelda

I never played that one. Sacrilege, I know.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are blocky 8-bit characters: Mr Bugg is holding a sword and a shield, while Mrs Bugg is wearing a long dress and a crown.

The text reads: “Febuggary 21, 1986: The Legend of Zelda is released.”

the new phone books are here

I am so not explaining this one. Just go watch the movie. Or a clip, I guess.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is holding an oil can (oil used to come in quart tin cans; kids, ask your parents); it has a hole in it and is pouring oil. He looks most sad about this. Aross the road, Mrs Bugg is lying on a hill, a sniper rifle to her eye, taking aim for another shot.

The text reads: “Febuggary 21, 1878: The first Bugg telephone book is published … Buggs can now look up strangers to shoot at.

She hates these cans.”

sewing

Can you imagine the speed of that thing? It probably took a month to hand-sew that slave Leia costume in the bad old days.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are hunched over sewing machines, surrounded by billows of fabric. Mrs Bugg’s looks like it has pedals, which I feel would have been a big improvement over the treadle, which was a frankly ridiculous way to power a device.

The text reads: “Febuggary 21, 1842: John Greenbugg is granted the patent for the sewing machine. Many new outfits are created for cosplay.”

ballet

I love that Mr Bugg is wearing toe shoes, too.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is wearing toe shoes and lifting above his head Mrs Bugg, also rocking the toe shoes, and a tutu to boot. They are both smiling, because they are having fun.

The text reads: “Febuggary 20, 1877: The premiere performance of Bugg Lake.”

SWAK

With a kiss? Or with spit?

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is dressed as a postman, which in this case means he’s wearing a messenger bag and holding a letter, across whose flap the word “SWAK” is visible. Mrs Bugg has one hand on her hip, the other in the air, as if to say “Well, I’ll be damned!” Her expression is one of astonishment.

The text reads: “Febuggary 20, 1792: The Postal Service Act is signed by President Buggeorge Washington creating the Post Office, allowing buggs to send mash notes with SWAK on them.”

donbugger party

I am not gonna lie, you guys: When I saw this note, my expression was identical to Mr Bugg’s.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is standing with his arms raised in horror and an expression on his face best described as D:, and this is because Mrs Bugg, who is about four times her normal size, is sitting on the ground, a bugg leg in her mouth and a huge pile of bugg appendages behind her.

The text reads: “Febuggary 14, 1847: The first group of rescuers reach the Donbugger Party.”

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