Seriously, any excuse to do her bicycle kick.
I bet she’s really good at it by now.
Transcript:
Mr Bugg stands waving, a gigantic ankh in hand like some kind of whackass shepherd’s crook, while Mrs Bugg pounds one in with her amazing bicycle kick.
The text reads: “Bugtober 24, 1857: Buggfield F.C., the world’s oldest football club still in operation, is founded.”
I think what she’s really trying to work on is not biting her tongue when doing this kick.
Transcript:
Mr and Mrs Bugg are playing soccer: Mr Bugg as goalkeeper wearing huge gloves and cleats. He will be trying to stop the formidable bicycle kick, as being perfected by Mrs Bugg, also encleated, with her tongue out in concentration as her booted foot connects with the ball.
The text reads: “And some late night soccer for fun. Mrs Bugg is perfecting her bicycle kick.”
Look, I’m no expert, but I’d think a ninja would spot a soccer ball coming and dodge.
On the other hand, these are buggs, so who knows.
Transcript:
Mr Bugg is head to foot in ninja black, short scimitar thing in one hand, small pointy trident thing in the other. He is facing Mrs Bugg, whose cleated foot has just kicked seven kinds of hell out of a soccer ball using her patented bicycle kick.
The text reads: “Ninja vs. Soccer player.”
And then he got his own candy bar!
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg is cosplaying Bugg Ruth. We see her from a three-quarter rear view, a buggball cap on her head and swinging a bat at a ball whizzing at her. It was thrown by Mr Bugg from his pitchers’ mound in the distance, a gigantic buggball glove on his hand and hat on his head. His tongue is out in concentration.
The text reads: “Buggtember 30, 1927: Bugg Ruth becomes the first buggball player to hit 60 home runs in a season.”
Ah, so she’s going to escape. Of course.
Transcript:
A small girl-bugg, wearing a tutu, cleats and the golden forehead-brand of a First Prime Jaffa and brandishing a staff weapon and a ninja trident, is standing amid a veritable trove of cosplay accessories: A lightsaber (which nevertheless looks like a spiky … er … adult novelty), nunchucks, a scimitar, a handgun of some description, a soccer ball, a P90, boots with spurs and a couple of headbands, one with elf-ears and the other with what may be a halo, for reasons best left unexplored.
The text reads: “The possible future bugg shows how cute she could be if you approve. Please don’t tell her possible future parents she escaped.”
BSA! BSA! BSA!
Er.
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg is wearing cleats and a determined expression, her body flying across the pitch as she belts the ball into the goal using her patented bicycle kick. Mr Bugg, wearing a goalkeeper’s helmet and waving his arms frantically, stands in front of the goal, powerless in the face of such an epic play.
The text reads: “BSA has qualified for the World Bugg of Soccer.”
Look, I don’t really know much about cricket grasshopper, except the positions have strange names, the pads are formidable, and the ball is extremely hard, which … ouch. That probably explains the pads.
Transcript:
Mr Bugg is wearing huge shin pads and an expression of determination, as seen by his tongue protruding from his lips. He holds a cricket bat in the “about to hit something” position, and stands in front of the wicket thing. Mrs Bugg, meanwhile, is about to do her best pitch.
The text reads: “Bugust 23, 1938: Bugglish Grasshopperer Len Bugton sets a world record during a test match against Bugstralia.”
This drawing is in no way reflective of a night Loki and I spent at a WNBA game for a work outing, being bored out of our skulls and in danger of losing our butts to numbness due to the epically uncomfortable seats. Nope, no basis in current affairs whatsoever.
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg, tongue out in concentration, leaps over the head of another basketball player, undoubtedly on her way to making a perfect three-point shot in the basket in the background.
The text reads: “Bugust 15, 1970: Patricia Bugglinkas becomes the first female bugg to play in the WBNBA … she quits after two games because it’s boring and hurts her butt.”
Et Mme Bugg est en premier lieu que la course se rapproche de la ligne d’arrivée – et la roue de quelqu’un s’est détachée!
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg, astride a
bicyclebuggcycle with a single, huge antenna … or possibly a flag … attached to the rear, pedals madly to stay slightly ahead of Mr Bugg, similarly enbuggcycled, while someone’s loose wheel threatens to pass them both. They are wearing sporty cycling goggles and looking determined.The text reads: “Buggly 1, 1903: Start of the first Tour de Bugg buggcycle race.”
See, if they’d just concentrated on the joy of Mrs Bugg’s bicycle kick, none of that would have happened.
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg, in soccer cleats and rocking a particularly huge bow, makes a beautiful bicycle kick, while in the background, two fans are about to pummel the everloving crap out of each other.
The text reads: “Junebugg 27, 1954: BIFA World Cup quarterfinal match between Bugzil and Urabugg turns violent, the first soccer hooligan incident.”
Does it freak anyone else out that, when buggs set out to invent a sport, the first thing they do is dismember, maim and kill the other team, then work out less-violent rules? No? Just me?
OK.
Transcript:
Mr and Mrs Bugg stand on a buggball pitch, Mrs Bugg on the pitcher’s mound with a ball-with-nails-in-it in her left hand and a huge buggball glove on her right. She has a sword sticking out of her back, but her sporty buggball cap has a bow on it, so she’s probably quite well pleased. She faces Mr Bugg, wielding a bat with mails in it. In the outfield, the opposing team lays scattered across the pitch, dead in various unpleasant ways: Arrow to the heart, sword to the gut, cut in half. We know they are dead because their eyes are Xs.
The text reads: “Junebugg 19, 1846: The first official Buggball game is played by the New Bugg City buggball team, defeating the Nickerbuggers of New Buggsey 23-1 … the rules were still being worked on.”
It’s astonishing, the range of clothes and accessories the Buggs have. I’m guessing their closet is extra-dimensional.
Transcript:
The Buggs again pose with an impressive array of stuff with which they can be outfitted : elf ears, cleats and soccer ball, a wig, a sombrero, a P90, staff weapon, sword, boots with spurs, sword, shield with ankh. Mr Bugg is already wearing sunglasses, while Mrs Bugg sports a gun belt.
The text reads: “Just Bugs … with things. Pick and mix.”
Apparently, these are like paper buggs that you can dress and accessorize! I wonder if they have a Bugg Dream House?
Transcript:
Mr and Mrs Bugg stand ready to be accessorized, their hands fingerless for ease of prop attachment. Next to them floats an impressive array of stuff: Axe, ninja weapons, a crown with a bow, binoculars, a rifle, a shield with an ankh on it, a sword, a gunbelt, boots with cleats and … um. High heels? I just don’t even know. Anyway! Hours of fun.
The text reads: “Generic Buggs with cutouts of all your favorite stuff.”
Things that are awesome: the bat with nails in it; Mrs Bugg’s tongue out in concentration; and the fact that Casey at the Bat was one of the first poems I had to memorize in grade school, thereby earning it a place in my heart.
Transcript:
Mr Bugg stands over home plate, buggball cap in place, with his back to us, a bat-with-nails-in-it grasped firmly, awaiting the pitch that Mrs Bugg, in the background on her mound, is preparing to throw. Her tongue is out in concentration, she is wearing a gigantic bugball mitt, and her buggball cap is topped by her signature bow.
The text reads: “Juenbugg 3, 1888: The poem “Buggsey at the Batt” by Earnest Buggrance Thayer is published in the San Buggcisco Examiner.”
I can’t get over how tough and serious Mr and Mrs Bugg look. I guess they’ve just done their haka?
(ALSO CLEATS.)
Transcript:
Mr and Mrs Bugg stand firm, arms akimbo, stern expressions on their faces. They are kitted out in shorts and jerseys and cleats, while a
rugbybuggby ball sits between them.The text reads: “Maybee 14, 1870: The first game of Buggby is played in New Bugzland. The All Blacks will rule the sport forever.”
So what we have here is, basically, the confluence of many awesome things: Goggles, science equipment, cleats and a killer bicycle kick. I approve.
(Seriously, I’m writing this ten days after I got it, and I am still laughing at the damn cleats. I do not know what it is about them, but they make me happy.)
Transcript:
Mr Bugg, appropriately wearing safety goggles, waves an Erlenmeyer flask in one hand and a glass of something fizzy in the other, as an encleated Mrs Bugg goes for one of her patented bicycle kicks.
The text reads: “Maybee 8, 1886: Pharmacist John Pembugton first sells a bubbly beverage named BuggaCola. They eventually sponsor Mrs Bugg’s soccer team.”
I’m pretty sure they didn’t particularly want to sort out the rules and equipment, given the Bugg love of chaos, sport and broken limbs. That and I’m pretty sure they’re all big fans of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.
Transcript:
Mr Bugg is wearing a ball cap, rugby pads and cleats, brandishing a field-hockey stick and carrying what looks like an American football helmet, while behind him, Mrs Bugg is about to crack his braincase with a cricket bat. She is also sporting cleats, and you guys know how I feel about the cleats. A soccer ball, American football and squash racquet litter the ground behind her.
The text reads: “Aprovul 22, 1886: The first ever National League Buggball game is played. It will be decades before official rules and equipment are established.”
I love that Mrs Bugg plays professional soccer and is adept at bicycle kicks, but I love her wee cleats most of all. LOOK YOU UPON HER CLEATS.
Transcript:
Mrs Bugg is upside down, belting the ball to the net in what is clearly a perfectly-executed bicycle kick, while a goalie stands before the net in what will be, I’m sure, a well-intentioned but ultimately insufficient defense.
The text reads: Munch 15, 1892: Buggerpool F.C. is the first football club formed in buggland. Mrs Bugg would start her sport career playing for their reserve team.”