motoring

driving test

driving test [click to embiggen]

Does the test involve driving really fast around a test track on an airfield? That’s the kind of test I would love to take.

great race

great race [click to embiggen]

Fun fact: My dad and brother compete in the Great Race every year — except this year, my brother’s company wouldn’t let him take time off to do the race.

My dad ended up getting a friend to navigate, but Loki offered to help out in any way he could, because he is a sweetie.

studebugger

studebugger [click to embiggen]

That’s a pretty sweet-looking wagon!

drive time

drive [click to embiggen]

Always an excellent choice, Buggs!

always use protection

protection [click to embiggen]

Safety first, Mr Bugg!

test drive

test drive [click to embiggen]

So late last year, my beloved Nigel was rapidly deteriorating, costing thousands every time something happened, and though he was My First Dream Car, it was no longer worth it to keep dumping money into him.

It was sad, but after many spreadsheets and a couple test drives, I eventually got a pretty nice Mazda 3.

I’m really sorry, Buggs, but I never even considered a VW Bugg.

go fast

engine [click to embiggen]

Technically, it was the first internal-combuggstion motorcycle, but why quibble?

oldsmobugg

oldsmobugg [click to embiggen]

And goes on to create, after the sweet gangster-style cars of the 1920s and the breathtaking art deco cars of the 1930s, some of the most boring cars in the history of the car.

go, bugg racers

soapbugg [click to embiggen]

More goggles! I wonder if the Buggs like building gravity-powered cars as much as they love making cosplay outfits?

BuggMW

buggmw [click to embiggen]

And soon — the M class! Vroom, indeed.

end of an era

beetle [click to embiggen]

Mrs Stig Bugg standing by to take the last Beetle for a quick spin around the track is a nice touch.

buggswagon

buggswagon [click to embiggen]

Oh, come on, Mr Bugg. I’m sure Mrs Bugg’s driving is just fine, and not scary in any way at all.

but he is the Stig’s bugg cousin

racing school [click to embiggen]

I’m guessing this is a school for racing drivers?

… and into muscle-car history

mustabugg [click to embiggen]

I am not a huge fan of American muscle cars*, but can you imagine driving the first Mustabugg? Your expression of delight tinged with smug satisfaction would be identical to Mrs Bugg’s, and your neighbors would be looking exactly like Mr Bugg.

What a glorious time.

*Not anymore, anyway. In my misspent youth? Oh, yes. One day I’ll tell you about it … but that day is not today.

car bugby

car bugby [click to embiggen]

There are few things I love more than Top Gear car sports. Bugg re-enactments of Top Gear car sports would be one of those things.

“Do you know what “hallowed ground” means?”
“Temporary?”
“Yes. ‘Our father, who art in heaven, temporary be thy name.'”

the book was far superior

chitty chitty bang bang [click to embiggen]

ETA: I fucking love the Buggs’ flying car, and thank them for doing such a charming drawing! I do like the movie reasonably well, just not as well as the books.

No, seriously. The book fucking rocked. There was none of this Creepy Long-Nose Guy there to freak me the fuck out, and they went to France, which was awesome, and there was pirate treasure, and Caractacus was fucking British, unlike Dick Van Dyke DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

Also, that book started a love affair with Ian Fleming that led me to read all the Bond books before I was ten or so. In many ways, those are all superior to the films as well — with the possible exception of Daniel Craig, who perfectly embodies the comparative fragility and humanity of book!Bond.

And so concludes the I Have Feels About Ian Fleming, Let Me Show You Them Hour.

the damage was done

buggsel

Y’know, you really shouldn’t be surprised when your automobugg becomes a byword for failure when you give it wheels that look like that.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is sitting in a convertible car, antennae on its hood. He looks ever so sad, and I’m guessing that’s because the car will never drive: It has square wheels. Mrs Bugg is holding a pen and a clipboard, having undoubtedly just drawn a decisive line through “Buggsel” on her production schedule.

The text reads: “Bugvember 19, 1959: Bugg Motor Company discontinues the unpopular Buggsel.”

 

twenty-one hundred miles

roadtrip

It looks like Mrs Bugg’s car was a bit bigger than my CRX, but, like my CRX, was packed literally to the roof. I bet she had to have her books shipped separately, too.

One day I shall write up all the silly things that happened on that trip, but here are some bullet-point highlights of that 22-hour nonstop drive:

  • “The wages of sin is death” billboard
  • 24-hour live bait machine
  • Choosing a star from the billions visible in middle-of-nowhere Texas, in the middle of the night
  • Being forced to play chicken with armadillos in the road
  • “What’s that? DON’T LOOK!”
  • “Like a cow pissing on a flat rock”
  • “Welcome to the desert!”

Ahh, memories.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are crammed into a small car, into which is also crammed way too many boxes of stuff. You can tell they have not yet set off, as the antennae on the hood are still pointing forward, and have not been blown backwards by the seventy mile an hour winds they will soon encounter.

The text reads: “Bugtober 25, 1992: On this day, the Buggs left the swamp to go live in the desert. Silly drive with lots of silly.”

 

testing nigel

testing nigel

Is there a bugg version of Consumer Reports? Because I think they’re missing out on a hot market.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg and a horde of other buggs swarm over what must be my Mini Cooper, Nigel (although he is bedecked with antennae), wielding all manner of horrifying testing apparatus, including a jackhammer, a pickaxe, a sledgehammer, and what may possibly be a sword, while a fifth bugg jumps on the hood.

The text reads: “The buggs have found that most Minis are bugg proof … although they couldn’t reach the pedals to do a crash test. [THANK GODS. -Ed.]

 

sporty motoring scarves > *

automobugg

As long as you wear a short-enough scarf, it’s pretty safe and you’ll look awesome.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are resplendent in motoring goggles and jaunty scarves, piloting their open-air automobuggs down some scenic Buggland byway.

The text reads: “Bugust 21, 1897: Oldsmobugg, a brand of automobuggs, is founded.”