So the first duchy in Engbugg? And presumably the start of names that take ten minutes to say, when you start throwing in all the titles. I wonder if he was “Blackboard Monitor” too?

Mrs Bugg really shares my love of big hair.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg face each other, wearing crowns and shaking hands happily. Mrs Bugg is, for some reason, rocking some huge hair.

The text reads: “Febuggary 14, 842: Charles the Bald and Louise the Bugerman swear the oaths of Strausbugg.”

Here we go again with the crowns & shit. Everyone does look pretty happy about this process, though, so … more power to ’em, I guess.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is sitting on a large throne, smiling beneficently as he waits for Mrs Bugg to complete her job and make him king. Mrs Bugg, for her part, is approaching Mr Bugg with a heavy crown in her hands. She is wearing a bow-topped bishop’s mitre and a pair of lovely black boots.

The text reads: “Febuggary 5, 1818: Jean-Bugtiste Buggadotte ascends the throne of Swebug and Norbug.”

Hey, at least it wasn’t cigar butts in gallstone sauce.

Transcript:

A newly-crowned king sits on a raised throne, waving a scepter and smiling benevolently, while in the foreground, Mr and Mrs Bugg are roasting stick-impaled weenies over a roaring fire. They are surrounded by tail-wagging corndoggs and tofubeasts, and Mrs Bugg is surreptitiously slipping a hot dog to the tofubeast.

The text reads: “Buggtober 18, 629: King Bugbert is crowned King of the Franks. He decrees franks and beans for all buggs and their pets.”

You guys, it took me half an hour to find the post that would explain the joke about the cow being called to testify, and then I couldn’t remember the joke i was going to make about the continuation of the theme. ARGH.

Transcript:

It is a grand courtroom scene: Mr Bugg is the judge, waving a gavel and pointing a finger in approved “J’ACCUSE!” manner, while Mrs Bugg, in her Mary, Queen of Buggs getup including crown, has been clapped in irons and is being dragged into the court by armed and armored knights, while a spotted (and antennaed) cow wanders in, too.

The text reads: “Bugtober 14, 1582: Mary, Queen of Buggs goes on trial for conspiracy against Elizabeth I of Buggland … cows are brought forth for testimony.”

I wish I knew why the buggs like cosplaying royalty. I mean, it’s fun to wear crowns, I get it, but other than that? The only thing I can think of is that they sometimes like to refer to themselves as “one.” “One would like a jellybean, peasant!”

… or maybe not.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is rocking the ermine cape and pointy crown, arms raised and fingers displaying the near-universal v-sign symbols for peace. Behind him, a star-topped throne awaits his royal butt, while Mrs Bugg and several other courtiers are seen on their knees, foreheads pressed to the floor in obeisance.

The text reads: “Octobugg 1, 959: Buggar “the guy who likes peace” becomes king of Buggland.”

On the plus side, I think Mrs Bugg normally gets to cosplay the winning side, so yay for Mr Bugg.

Transcript:

Mrs Bugg, her sword and ankh-emblazoned shield drooping dejectedly, looks away sadly as Mr Bugg raises his own shield (emblazoned with what looks like the Sisters of Mercy logo) and spear in triumph. He is wearing a crown, along with sunglasses to show his coolness, and stands before his army, who are also happily raising their shields and swords in triumph.

The text reads: “Buggtember 30, 489 BD: Battle of Buggrona: The Buggregoths, led by King Theodbugg the Pretty Cool, defeat the forces of Odobugg.”

I’m astonished that any Robug emperors got to die of natural causes. Those ancient Robugs were treacherous.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg lies in state on a slab, Xs for eyes to indicate his deadness. He is wearing a toga that is remarkably unstained with blood. In the foreground, Mrs Bugg, wearing a fetching toga and crowned with both a crown and a bow, is waving her ankh-sceptre and smiling broadly as she waves to us.

The text reads: “Bugtember 18, 14: Tibugius is confirmed as Robug Emperor following the natural death of Bugustus.”

The bugg version seems to be just as big an asshole as ours.

At least we were spared the codpiece.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg, wearing a crown and waving a sceptre, banishes a woebegone Mrs Bugg, while in the background, three more female buggs wait, smiling happily and waving their arms, because apparently, they haven’t been paying attention to the fates of Bugry’s other women.

The text reads: “Bugly 9, 1540: Bugry VII annuls his marriage to his fourth wife, Anne of Bugves. Wives 5, 6 and 7 are lined up.”

You would have thought Mary would have eaten husbands one and two before marrying a third time.

Transcript :

Mrs Bugg is again rocking the bow-topped crown, holding hands with Mr Bugg. They are both smiling and waving. In the background, two male buggs look quite sad.

The text reads: “Maybee 15, 1567: Mary, Queen of BUggs, marries James Hepbugg, 4th Earl of Buggwell, her third husband.”

Oh, Mrs Bugg, not the livestock. (or possibly)

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is wearing a judge’s powdered, curly wig, wielding a gavel and sitting behind a high judge’s bench, while Mrs Bugg stands in handcuffs, wearing a crown with a bow on it. Her expression is most sad.

The text reads: “Maybee 15, 1536: Anne Buggleyn, Queen of Buggland, stands trial for charges of treason, adultery, incest and something about a cow.”

Is there anything better than woad? I submit to you there is not.

Transcript:

A female bugg sits on a throne, while another bugg stands by, crown at the ready. Several other heavily-armed and -woaded buggs stand at the foot of the throne, waving swords and axes, and sometimes both, in high spirits.

The text reads: “Munch 25, 1308: Roberta the Bugg is proclaimed Queen of ScotBugg. Every year afterwards, Buggs of the region still paint themselves blue.”