OK, listen, I wasn’t bullying, I was just painfully shy, and not very good at meeting people, especially cute boys. It was meant to be a compliment on his jacket, not an actual threat, jeez.

Transcript:

This is totally not the way it happened, but whatever: Mr Bugg is leaning over, tears pouring from his face, as Mrs Bugg triumphantly holds up a really nice jacket.

The text reads, in a blatant attempt to rewrite history, but whatever, “Febuggary 28, 1990: In a cruel display of bullying, Mrs Bugg takes Mr Bugg’s coat and lunch money by threatening to eat him at school. Mr Bugg has his revenge, first with an earthquake, then making her love him.”