True story: Fenris can hear the UPS guy pulling into our neighborhood, two blocks away. Fenris does not approve of this. He approves still less of the UPS guy pulling up to our house. Interestingly, he could care less about the FedEx guy or the USPS lady.

Of course, half the time, we can’t hear the UPS truck two blocks away, so we act like it’s ninjas. “Thanks for scaring off the ninjas, Fenris!”

The other half of the time, it’s the middle of the godsdamned night and obviously not the UPS guy — and now we know what it really was.