It is notoriously easy to impress girls with cannon fire.

Transcript:

Mrs Bugg sits on a gilded chair, her arms raised in what is undoubtedly happiness at this singular work being performed for her. On the stage, Mr Bugg is in the full tailcoat of a conductor, waving his baton at an orchestra consisting of an oboist, a violin player, two piccolo players, someone rocking a double bass, and one bugg playing a gigantic tuba. A variety of notes float above their heads, indicating that music is being perpetrated. No doubt the artillery are outside the frame of the picture.

The text reads: “Bugust 20, 1882: Pyotr TchBuggsky’s 1812 Buggetur debuts is Bugscow … he was trying to impress a girl.”

Would you look at the size of Mrs Bugg’s amp? I wonder if she’s actually using it? (Unlike some people we could mention …)

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg are fronting a three-piece band: Mr Bugg on tambourine, Mrs Bugg rocking the bass in front of a massive 6×12 bass amp that is nearly bigger than she is, and a tofubeast on the drums. The stage is surrounded by a huge crowd of buggs.

The text reads: “Bugust 15, 1969: Buggstock opens … 3 days of Bugg Love.”

The sad end of an era. I blame the internet.

Transcript:

Mr and Mrs Bugg, playing the tambourine and guitar respectively, lead a band that includes a tofubeast on drums (naturally) and an unidentified bugg in the background, presumably rocking the bass.

The text reads: “Buggly 30, 2006: The Buggworld’s longest running music show, Top of the Buggs, goes off the air.”

Is there anything cuter than Mrs Bugg in a tutu? Well, maybe a couple things … but not many.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg, in ballet buglet toeshoes, lifts an entutu’d Mrs Bugg, also rocking toeshoes, above his head, her arms spread wide in approved buglet fashion.

The text reads: “Junebugg 28, 1841: The Paris Opera Buglet premieres Buggselle.”

I still think it looks like an alpenhorn.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is blowing into quite a large instrument of the brass family, even though it’s long and rests on a stand on the ground exactly like an alpenhorn, but what do I know. Mrs Bugg stands nearby, hands over what are presumably her ears and a deeply unhappy expression on her face.

The text reads: “Junebugg 24, 1846: The Saxabugg is patented by Adolphe “Bug” Sax.”

The adorable girl. The dangerous greaser on his motorcyle. Of such things is young love made.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg stands in front of his antennae’d buggcycle, wearing a leather jacket and a slick pompadour. Mrs Bugg, resplendent in a poodle tofubeast skirt, is clearly about to break into dance.

The text reads: “Junebugg 21, 1948: Columbuggia Records introduces the first long playing records … Bugg Rock takes off.”

Although, do the buggs have noses?

Regardless, this is an excellent song.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg, wearing round glasses and playing a guitar, stands next to Mrs Bugg, rocking the left-handed bass. Girlie bass players are the best.

The text reads: “Junebugg 13, 1970: “The Long and Winding Bugg” becomes the last Buggles #1 song.””

Ahh, another seminal moment in music history! I am deeply in love with the poodle skirt.

Transcript:

Mr Bugg is playing a guitar and swinging his hips on a foot-lighted stage, while a be-poodle-skirted Mrs Bugg swoons heavily, hearts bursting from her head at an alarming rate.

The text reads: “Junebugg 5, 1956: Elvis Bugley introduces a new single, “Hound Bugg”, on the Milton Bugle show, scandalizing audiences with his suggestive hip movements.”

I can’t help but notice that Mr Bugg is doing his composing using what appears to be a Casio keyboard, complete with speakers. I can’t help but think that he’d get better tone with a proper keyboard, a mixing board with a pre-amp and some good monitor speakers. Have we taught you nothing, Mr Bugg?

Transcript:

Mr Bugg, wearing a beret and an impressive mustache, sits at a musical-note-spewing keyboard, while Mrs Bugg, also wearing a thin mustache and with a bow perched atop her beret, stands happily by, hands clasped together. Behind her, more buggs in berets stand ready.

The text reads: “Aprovul 25, 1792: “La Buggseillaise” (the Buggance National Anthem) is composed by Claude Joseph Rouget de Bugg. Millions of buggs with berets and mustaches await the first performance.”

So one of Terry Pratchett’s books — Soul Music, one of his best — has a footnote about how the gods make composers deaf as a joke — a joke that backfires, as deafness doesn’t stop them hearing the music; it stops them hearing the distractions.

Apparently, that doesn’t hold true in Buggland, alas.

On the other hand? Killer ear trumpet, dude.

Transcript:

A bugg with an ear trumpet and a conductor’s baton smiles encouragingly at a quartet of bugg classical musicians, all of whom look a bit strained. The double-bass player in particular looks like he has his eyes screwed up in pain.

The text reads: “Aprovul 2, 1800: Ludwig van Buggthoven leads the premiere of his 1st symphony in Buggiena. No one has the heart to tell the deaf composer how bad it sounds.”

Is anyone else flashing on A Mighty Wind? No? Just me?

Transcript:

A bugg with a guitar is presumably singing something meaningful and heartfelt, while a female bugg in the background plays a tambourine. As you do.

The text reads: “Munch 19, 1962: Bugg Dylan releases his first album, starting the bugg music scene.”